In 2015 I had a panic attack, and it changed my life for a while. I would be lying if I would say it is not affecting me still today. Anyways, I started writing a lot of freeform poetry that didn’t rhyme and just portrait my emotions and feelings. I guess you could say I was emotion dumping on paper. I wrote about strength and courage, all the things that I thought had vanished after the panic attack. I wanted so badly to feel like myself again, to be careless on where I went and not be scared to be by myself. I wrote this poem in 2017, two years after my panic attack, and today I took the poem and changed it up a bit. In the altered poem I have split the lines up in stanzas and used a pattern of ABBC. Here it goes.
Original Poem
The moment when,
Fear starts to rise
To demand attention
And for a moment,
You become scared
You believe the lie
That
Something is wrong
That you are not feeling good
All of a sudden,
You turn to it
And command it to
Get lost!
The feeling of one’s old self,
Of strength and confidence,
Of courage and motivation
Floods in and you just go
“Oh, where have you been?”
“I have missed you!”
by Cristina Tarantino written 31 March 2017
I Missed You
-The moment when,
Fear starts to rise
And you believe all the lies
And for a moment you become scared
-You start thinking something is wrong
That you are feeling unwell
You turn to it and stop to dwell
And command it to get lost!
-Your strength and confidence return
And the feeling of oneself too
Courage and motivation floods through
You just go “I have missed you”
By Cristina Tarantino written 7 November 2022
(The Image is one of my landscape photos I took in the Black Forest in Germany)
